


Not Here

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Series: Lifelong Love Letter [28]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: F/M, Postpartum Depression, feeling alone, relationship rough spot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22959361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: It's 2014 and reader's birthday
Relationships: Sebastian Stan/Reader
Series: Lifelong Love Letter [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1054796
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Not Here

You sat on the bed looking at the big bucket of flowers on the table across the room while Isabella fed. There was a huge box of chocolate on the bed lying next to the letter you had been reading over and over again, trying to figure out how you felt. 

You felt alone and had before Sebastian left without much notice to go film the Martian. It wasn’t a huge part and he wasn’t going to be gone for long, but it still hurt. He had made the decision without you which was bad on its own. Still, it was his words that rung in your head over and over every day that hurt the most. 

“It might be good to have a little time apart.”

You quickly dried your eyes, trying not to dwell in the feeling that you had been pushing him away. You weren’t sure what it was you were feeling or why it was so hard to both be around Sebastian and without him. You loved him with all your heart. There was no doubt in your mind that you did, but you just didn’t feel like yourself anymore.

You looked down at your daughter still feeding at your breast to see those big blue eyes she had gotten from her dad, looking back up at you. Your heart hurt. You should feel happy, so why weren’t you? You loved your daughter more than anything. You couldn’t stand being without her for a second and you worried about her all the time. Those things were normal you thought, but why weren’t you happy? And how could you both miss Sebastian and be relieved he was gone when he so clearly missed you. 

You rocked your daughter, gently burping her before letting her fall asleep on the pillow next to you, as you picked up the small letter reading it again. 

_Happy Birthday my love_

_I’m so sorry I’m not home with you and our beautiful daughter, celebrating with you. Actually, I’m sorry about a lot of things. I’m sorry for how we left things between us and what I said before I left. I love you. So so much Y/N/N. I don’t need time away from you. Not a second. You’re my world. You and Isa. My beautiful girls. Things will be better soon. I promise._

_Yours always and forever._

_Seb._


End file.
